Game Week: Minnesota (2012)
OH SHIT THIS MIGHT ACTUALLY HAPPEN. The Huskers handled their business on Saturday, with a gritty win that took Penn State down harder than the Freeh Report. There were controversial (missed) calls, shouting matches and Zone Read Rain Man Taylor Martinez making people act a fool.
Which means we’re two games away from Indianapolis. I have no desire to ever step foot in Indiana. It seems awful. And before you say, “Nebraska’s no better!” let me remind you that we have an entire Stone Henge made out of cars. But the Huskers are going to Indy, provided they can avoid pulling an Iowa State this weekend. And provided Iowa Gonna Iowa (4-6 overall, 2-4 in conference).
This week in the Tunnel, we get a visit from an old friend, Bo gets angry, and Taylor Martinez raises the Mother Fuckin’ Roof. Follow us on Twitter for more fun. And as a public service announcement, please help our friends in Iowa City by texting LOLOL to the number 4-6-2-4 to contribute $10 to the Kirk Ferentz Contract Buyout Fund.
Now then, into the Tunnel…
Game Week: Penn State (2012)
Okay this team is just fucking with us now, right? Taylor Martinez is either a damn good quarterback or the world’s most elaborate and dedicated troll. That was the Taylor Martinezest game in the history of football. But we won it. We fucking won it, and nobody can take that away from us. Unless it’s discovered that Ameer Abdullah is actually a Time Traveling Ahman Green in disguise and we are stripped of all this year’s victories.
But that probably won’t happen. What will happen is we will play Penn State this Saturday. It’ll be a little different than last year since the game’s here and they don’t have Silas Redd and also there’s not a child rape scandal hanging over the whole affair.
This week in the Tunnel, we talk record-setting quarterbacks, presidential politics, California Dreams and the McRib. Follow TWOS on Twitter if you’d like, where you’ll get occasional one-panel comics when I feel like it/am bored/have been drinking. But for now, enjoy this week’s offering…
Game Week: Michigan State (2012)
Remember when I wrote that sarcastic flowchart about how we could actually win the Big 10 this year? Well… shit. Now that seems doable. But I’m sure we’ll all get a big boner about it and then inevitably get beat by Minnesota and end up in the D’leon’s Bowl at Seacrest Field.
But we’ll wait a few weeks to pull our hair out and predict the temperature of Bo Pelini’s seat. For now let’s just enjoy the good times, and try not to think of this fact: right now is the most excited we’ve been for the Huskers’ post-season prospects in 3 years, and yet, if we had to go play Bill Fucking Snyder’s Kansas State Power Towels right now we’d get throttled by a Tim Tebow wannabe.
Regardless, we beat Michigan, Shoelaces or no. And now it’s on to Michigan State. This week in The Tunnel, we prematurely talk Big Ten Title Game, the D gets their due, Denard Robinson stops by, Ameer Abdullah arrives and Taylor Martinez has a new pair of shoes he’d like to tell you about. As always, follow TWOS on Twitter where I will forget to check my mentions for a few days and make you feel unloved. Now then, let’s get on with the action…
Game Week: Michigan (2012)
NOTE: Sorry for the delay earlier, Tumblr was down. Now it’s back. Proceed!
For those of you who didn’t either give up on the Huskers midway through last week’s game (understandable) or didn’t suffer a heart attack in the fourth quarter, here’s a brand new Tunnel Walk of Shame comic. Holy crapping fuck, that game was awful/awesome.
Lots of people are asking how many mistakes the Huskers can make and still win games. I’ll take the over. Somehow we find a way to win, mostly because there are about 3 X-Men mutants on this team who continue to save our ass. Quincy Enunwa, please never get hurt/graduate.
But now, attention turns to Michigan and Denard Robinson. This week in the Tunnel, we try to figure out how to stop him (and don’t), and then discuss recent Twitter trends. Also there’s a lot of profanity, as usual. Don’t forget to follow TWOS on Twitter. Last week I live-tweeted portions of the game because it was easier than crying. So, you know, make sure you don’t miss that.
Anyway, on with it…
Game Week: Northwestern (2012)
ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL!? Much as I love me some bye-week filler prognostications (“Top 5 True Freshmen You Won’t See This Year or Probably Next!”) and coach-speak, if I hear the word “execute” one more time I’m going to become a Mizzou fan. Kidding, kidding, I have a soul.
The Tunnel returns to action this week, too. We get a visit from new G.A.D. (Ginger Athletic Director), as well as the first appearance of American Badass Tim Miles. Plus, we bow our heads in prayer.
Enjoy the comic, and be sure to follow TWOS on Twitter if you’re not one of the millions already doing so. Thanks for tuning in each week. And now, look at this great mother fucking picture of Bo and Papuchis I found…
Bye Week: Can Nebraska Still Win the Big Ten?
The Huskers are taking a week off - their second in a row, actually. See? We laugh to keep from crying. Shit last week was awful. As always, follow TWOS on Twitter if you’d like. We now have more than 500 followers, one for each yard we gave up to Braxton Miller.
Today, we depart for one week from our usual comic format to explore the Huskers chances at winning the Big 10. Quick note, if you’re having trouble viewing the massive flow chart below, you can try this enlargeable (ha) version. But first, a word from our dear friend…