Game Week: Northwestern (2014)

Usually here is where I maybe recap some quick thoughts about the previous week’s game before diving into what we might expect from this week’s game but this week I’ll let this Vine do the talkin’:

I mean he just falls right down. Falls. So slowly. It’s beautiful in a way. God, Jake Cotton is an incredible human being. 

I really thought we were going to win that game in the fourth. It all came together so well, didn’t it? It just felt like another Ameeracle waiting to happen. But instead it was a slow, gradual realization that we had fallen and OH MY GOD JAKE COTTON IS A WALKING METAPHOR (I’m using a fairly liberal definition of the word “walking”).

This week in the Tunnel, John Papuchis is ready to win big. Tim Beck is ready to win a new job. And Bo Pelini would just like to win a game. Follow TWOS on Twitter for in-game meltdowns, and please, Dear Jesus Rex Burkhead, don’t make us complete another Hail Mary to beat stupid Northwestern.

AND WE HAVE A LITTLE TECHNICAL DIFFICULTY THIS MORNING. For some reason, imgur is cutting off a bunch of the photos when I embed an album. Not sure what that’s about, but for this week, you’re gonna have to go old school (this is how I sent the comic out before I had this website) and view the slides on imgur. So quaint!

Click here to view this week’s comic for the Northwestern game. Sorry!

Game Week: Michigan State (2014)

I don’t think it can be overstated how funny it is that Kenny Bell straight up HUGGED a referee as his touchdown celebration last week. Last night I watched Oregon get a 15-yard celebration penalty for bowing after a big play (which Kenny Bell also does a lot) and it arguably cost them the game. Meanwhile, Kenny Bell hugged a referee. And who’s gonna flag him for that? Nobody. Because you can’t see it in the picture below but Imani Cross is just off camera threatening the referee to enjoy the hug. Imani Cross only wants what’s best for Kenny Bell.

This week, we get our first big test since McNeese State. That’s a true sentence! Nebraska’s ugly-yet-dominant wins this season don’t give anyone much of a sense of how this game will go on Saturday, but I do know that the expectations for it seem so much more realistic than years past. And that is a very, very good thing. This team came into the season loose, and the fans did, too, with a wait-and-see attitude that was truly much more cautiously optimistic than year’s past. And that has all paid off nicely. Don’t put the expectations of 1995 on Bo Pelini, that’s not where this teams do well. Put the expectations of 1991 on them. Positive, hopeful, but not unrealistic. Then let ‘em surprise you. It’s more fun that way. So fun, in fact, that in case you hadn’t heard, Kenny Bell just hugged a referee after a touchdown last week. Hugged him. Ran right up and hugged him. 

This week in the tunnel, John Papuchis continues to impress, and impossibly enormous college students continue to terrify. Follow TWOS on Twitter, and enjoy the game. And hug a referee.

Game Week: Illinois (2014)

Last weekend, a buddy told me that some tough-guy-bros next to him were talking about going down on the field and throwing some hands with Miami players. PLAYERS! Boy, I would’ve liked to see that. But instead, they booed them heartily from a safe distance. Close enough.  

But who can blame them? We beat Miami. I don’t care what version of Miami this is, beating Miami is cool. They are the Empire and we are Luke Skywalker, in that while the real battle ended decades ago, you still appreciate it when the good guy wins.

I, for one, welcome our new occasionally-violent football team. Look at Josh Mitchell in the first frame below, being restrained by Corey Cooper from fighting a man literally 3 times his size. Josh Mitchell is the hero short people need.

This week in the Tunnel, we recap the Miami game and look ahead to Illinois but not too far ahead to Michigan State. Hopefully. God, please don’t lose to Illinois right now, Huskers.

Follow TWOS on Twitter where you can watch me get progressively drunker over the course of a game. And enjoy your tailgating this week (but please stop hitting cops with full beer bottles. You’re not Josh Mitchell).

Game Week: Miami (2014)

Oh hell yes, Miami week. 

I know it’s not Good Ole’ Miami. And so far as we know it’s not necessarily Good Ole’ Nebraska. It’s more like Good… No Wait… Oh God…Hey… That’s Not Bad… We’ll Take It Nebraska. But still, watching the N and the U square off on opposite sides of the line of scrimmage will remind me of the ‘94 title game. It’ll also remind me of the ‘01 title game, because being a Husker fan means never letting yourself be fully happy.

Still, I’ll take this shit over Fresno State. What was that? I mean, we got the result we wanted but nobody enjoyed the process and it took way too long - in short, a real handjob of a football game.

This week in the Tunnel, the staff prepares to win their first actual game of the year. Lots of people want to help. Nobody really does. Follow TWOS on Twitter for more fun, and if you see a Miami fan this weekend make sure you just kidding they have no fans.

Game Week: Fresno State (2014)

The cover photo in this week’s slideshow (below) shows Ameer Abdullah destroying the hopes and dreams of 8 young men. While he destroyed them, I cheered wildly. I laughed and high-fived my dog and never even began to pity the 8 young men who had come halfway across the country only to almost pull off an enormous, season-making upset, then have it pulled out from under them at the last minute by Superman. This is why sports are neat. Nobody really wants Rudy to win.

God, that game was awful. I know it’s greedy and entitled of me but I really look forward to those McNeese St. games on the schedule because I assume it’ll be the one week of the year I don’t gnaw my fingernails off by the third quarter. But oh well. The ending was so crazy fun I’m willing to forgive the fact that the rest of the game forced me to start drinking in my pajamas. FORCED ME!

This week in the tunnel, well, I won’t even spoil anything for you. I’m excited for you to read it. Follow TWOS on Twitter for stupid jokes all week long and I’ll see you back here next week to get prepared for the Miami game by remembering Cory Schlesinger’s Top 100 Fullback Traps.

Game Week: McNeese State? (2014)

JORDAN WESTERKAMP CAUGHT A BALL HE COULDN’T SEE BEHIND HIS BACK AND STAYED IN BOUNDS.

Sorry. Still getting over that one. And still getting used to watching the Huskers actually manhandle a team. That was nice, wasn’t it? It’s way more fun than biting our nails while Wyoming drives down the field. Also, it gives us the opportunity to identify which people are shitheads by listening for someone who says, “Oh yeah they did what they were supposed to do BIG DEAL.” Those, for the record, are people who are unimpressed by a team that met their highest possible expectation. Neat. 

This week we’ve got a little bit shorter edition. I’m going to start making these just a tad bit shorter, as a rule. Mostly because I am way too busy watching that Jordan Westerkamp catch on a constant loop and don’t have time for more jokes. 

But the tunnel is alive with the sound of music. Today, Westerkamp searches for a nickname while Bo names a very special interim coach. Follow TWOS on Twitter during the week, and stay classy, Husker Nation.